


first and last // davekat soulmate au

by pyrropes



Series: davekat oneshots [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, One Shot Collection, Sadstuck, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 16:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrropes/pseuds/pyrropes
Summary: in which the world is black and white until you find your soulmate.





	1. -

**Author's Note:**

> !! this is sadstuck !!  
> !! if you don't like it then skip this oneshot !!

dave strider was sitting impatiently at his desk, watching the clock. it was the last day of school and he was determined to find his soulmate. all of his friends already have, they talk about all sorts of colours. jade talks about an olive green, john talks about a light pink, rose a jade, and dave talks about black and white. the same black and white he's seen his whole life. even his brother has a soulmate; some dude named jake english.

the bell rang, interrupting his thoughts. taking his time, he placed his things in his bag. dave wanted to be the last one out so he could leave easily instead of being trampled by everyone. he slung his bag over his shoulder and exited the room, making his way through the hallways and out the door. he texted his brother that he wouldn't be home for a while.

"hey dave!" he turned to see john, his best bro.

"'sup, egbert." he did one of those coolkid head nods.

"i'm about to go see roxy, where are you going?" john was referring to his soulmate; roxy lalonde, rose's cousin. 

"just on an adventure through the depths of the world to find my soulmate. it'll be dangerous, but worth it." he said it ironically, but if it took searching the world to find his soulmate he'd do it.

"haha, good luck with that, dave!" john saw roxy waving at him and his smile grew. "listen, i have to go, hope you find your soulmate!" with that, john ran towards his girlfriend. they hugged and did some couple shit before leaving together. 

dave thought about going to find jade, before remembering it was her date night with nepeta. rose was in a school club so that was out too. he knew this was his 'mission' but he wanted some help.

dave decided to just walk around a bit, he didn't know shit about his soulmate and where they'd be but he has to try and look. starbucks first? sure, why not. the blond walked through town to a nearby starbucks when he realised something. what if his soulmate doesn't even live there? what of he lives on the other side of the world? what if they never meet? 

"hello, david." dave turned to see rose's girlfriend, kanaya. "i was hoping to see you here, there's someone i'd like for you to meet."

"alright, who?" kanaya motioned for him to follow her, and he was led to a jade green car not far from where they were. the troll opened a door and started talking to someone inside.

"i already told you i don't want to go to the fucking mall," a short troll was dragged out of the car by kanaya, and the jade blood walked to the other side of the car and got inside, driving away. the boy that was left was yelling curses even though he knew kanaya couldn't hear.

dave raised an eyebrow, was this the dude she wanted him to meet? his breath caught in his throat when the boy turned, and he could tell the same thing was happening to the other. dave's world was brightened, he saw a strangely powerful looking colour in the boys' eyes. a colour. well, this was new.

"what the fuck are you staring at?" dave felt his heart shatter into pieces, his world break around him. no, this couldn't be happening. he's heard of instances like this when someone didn't return the feelings. how could this be happening?

dave shook his head, "nothing." he fought the word passed the lump in his throat and looked away. oh he couldn't wait to tell dirk he finally found the person he was supposed to spend forever with, but he didn't return the feelings. perfect.

the male rolled his eyes, "yeah, whatever. who the fuck even are you anyways?"

"dave strider." he could feel tears coming, and he squeezed his eyes shut. thank god his shades hide his eyes. "and you?"

"karkat vantas." he was annoyed. it was clear. "just so you know, i'm only talking to you because kanaya thought i should. i have no idea why she would even suggest it since so far this is most possibly the stupidest encounter i've had all year."

the words stung dave's heart, but he kept a stoic face. "yeah, whatever."

(-(-(

dave and karkat had become friendenemies after that. they fought a lot, but had a friendship going. dave had to hide his feelings, which surprisingly wasn't easy even though he's a strider. everything karkat did seemed to make him smile. even his insults he found hilariously adorable. nobody knew about how he truly felt, except dirk who could tell when dave was lying about not meeting his soulmate. 

"your music sucks." dave was showing karkat some of the songs he's written. dave didn't tell karkat they were written for him.

"they're ironic, dude, you wouldn't understand." karkat rolled his eyes when he said that, secretly he enjoyed the music.

(-(-(

"you have to tell him, dave." rose had found out about dave's crush on karkat using her therapist powers.

"i can't, rose." he shook his head, a few tears threataning to spill from his eyes. sometimes thinking about how he's destined to love karkat but karkat's destined to love someone else really got him down. bro wasn't the best helper so he decided it was good that rose knew. "it'll totally ruin our friendship if i do, and i really don't wanna fuck this up."

"you won't, it'll be fine. trust me, dave." rose put a hand on dave's shoulder, before her phone went off. the screen showed a message. it was kanaya. she turned to dave who nodded.

"you can go, be with your soulmate." he gave a half hearted smile which rose mirrored before she left. when he was sure she was gone he layed down on has bed, turning on his side. he threw his glasses to the other side of the room and let it all out. all the tears he had held in for the past two years him and karkat had been friends. he was breaking the 'strider code' but he didn't care. the code was bullshit to him. right now, he just needed to be himself. he needed to just cry it out, like a normal person. 

(-(-(

"hey, karkat?" dave turned to his friend who was currently typing away at his computer.

"what, strider?" he seemed to be failing at coding something.

"what do you do if you think you've met your soulmate, but aren't really sure?" if dave had been paying attention he would've noticed karkat's fingers halt for a second before returning, this time hitting the keys much rougher.

"how the fuck should i know? not like i've ever met my soulmate." it seemed as though he was glaring at the screen, anger practically radiating off him.

"yeah you're right, it was a dumb question." dave went back to reading on his phone. it was silent other than the sound of computer keys until karkat started coughing. a lot. dave looked worriedly at his friend, hesitantly rubbing his back. "you okay?" he asked when karkat was done.

"uh, yeah, i'm fine." if dave had looked over, he would've noticed blood on karkat's sleeve. but he simply went back to reading on his phone after he was totally sure karkat was alright.

(-(-(

"we haven't been hanging out much, anytime i try talking to him he always cuts the conversation short," dave was pacing around his room while rose was listening to him. "i think he's mad at me or something."

"does he have any reason to be?" rose raised an eyebrow, karkat had never actually been mad at dave. just fake mad.

"he's karkat. doesn't really need a reason." dave sighed and sat down next to rose. "i just hope our friendship hasn't been ruined. i hope it wasn't my fault."

"if you don't know what you did, you probably didn't do anything." rose said as dave fell back on his bed.

"nobody really ever knows what they did in situations like this." his arms were over his face and he sighed. "be honest rose, do you think he's ignoring me because my stupid ass did something and i have no idea what?" 

"i don't believe so, but i wouldn't know. i haven't seen your conversations." she looked at him, "but i doubt it. what you said about karkat not needing a reason isn't exactly true though.

"sure it may seem like he gets mad for no reason but i think he's just scared." she smiled a little, "kind of like you are."

he sat up instantly, "i'm not scared!" 

rose raised an eyebrow, her smile teasing.

dave sighed, "yeah, i guess i am kind of scared. but just because i know karkat doesn't share my feelings."

"you said he looked surprised when he first saw you," she began. "so how do you know he wasn't surprised due to the fact he saw colour for the first time."

dave shrugged, "i dunno, but he also seemed really annoyed i was staring at him. that kind of made me think he didn't feel the same way, he would've understood." he looked down at his hands. "he hasn't showed any affection towards me, even though we've been friends for a while. nothing even platonic."

"that could be because he's scared of being in a relationship, even one he's destined to be in." she thought aloud, and dave thought for a second it could be true before shaking his head.

"no. that can't be it." dave couldn't think of any reason why karkat wouldn't have told dave he saw colour. 

"maybe this is all in your head." rose was getting a little impatient, and tried not to show it. "maybe you're thinking too much into this and really he is your soulmate."

"he would've told me. i know he would've." dave looked at rose seriously.

"maybe you should talk with jade and nepeta on the matter," she suggested. "they seem to know about romance."

dave nodded, "i'll do that." 

him and rose exited the room and then the house, going their seperate ways.

(-(-(

"he's been ignoring me, i don't know what to do." dave sat in the living room of jade and nepeta's house, retelling the story he had told rose.

"well karkitty can be somewhat aloof at times, but i don't know why he would completely ignore someone." nepeta furrowed her eyebrows in thought, which jade silently thought was adorable but didn't mention.

"maybe he's sick?" jade threw out an idea and dave facepalmed after a moment.

"god i'm an idiot, i think he is." he looked back up at nepeta. "what are troll sicknesses like?"

"usually very painful," she frowned and jade reasurringly squeezed her hand, as if saying if nepeta ever got sick she'd be there for her. "but i don't think kar-" she cut herself off with a gasp, her eyes widening.

"what? what is it?" dave's eyes had also widened under his glasses, he was worried about karkat. very worried.

"he's a lowblood." olive tears were gathering at the corners of her eyes. "they don't live very long, and since he's a mutant i guess that gives him even less time."

dave quietly stood up without thinking and ran out the door, through the town, and back to his house. his feet carried him to his room where he collapsed on the floor. his glasses were off and his head was in his hands, loud sobs escaping him and tears spilling through his fingers. this couldn't be happening. his love, his soulmate, his precious crab was going to die without knowing dave's true feelings. he didn't know what to do. after a moment of just loud crying, he reached out to his phone and dialed numbers.

"he-"

"rose he's dying he's dying and there's nothing i can do i'll never get to be with him i'll never get to hold him i'll never get to tell him how much i love him." his sobs rang through the phone, kanaya heard what was going on and had a look of shock on her face. her moirail, her precious moirail was going to die.

"i'll be right over."

(-(-(

dave, rose, kanaya, sollux, gamzee, and terezi were all standing inside the hospital room which karkat was assigned. although, dave wasn't exactly standing. it was more him on the floor sobbing, head in his hands and glasses askew. nobody knew what to do. nobody had seen dave like this. 

the troll in the bed opened his eyes slowly, he knew he didn't have much longer. "dave," his hoarse voice rang through the room. the blond looked up, his red eyes glossed with tears not caring that everyone there could see his eye colour. "dave."

dave stood and walked to karkat's bed, he was crying too. despite what he was telling himself, the blond took karkat's hand in his. "karkat.. i'm so sorry. i'm sorry i didn't know, i should've been there."

karkag shook his head weakly, "no dumbass it's me who should be sorry." dave was confused. "i should've told you this before it was too late, it doesn't mean much now, but you're my soulmate. i saw colour that day we met."

dave felt his whole world crash down, just like that day. more tears were pouring out of his eyes.

"i'm sorry, because of me we could never be together." karkat began to cry as well, red tears joining clear on the bed. 

"we can be together now." dave lowered his head, and gave a sad smile. "be my boyfriend? even if it isn't for long."

karkat nodded, "yes dave."

dave captured karkat's lips in a kiss, which would be their first and last. "i love you karkat. i always will, even when you're gone."

"i love you too, dave. i always will, even when i'm gone."

/\/\/\\_/\\___________________


	2. epilogue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happened after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friend thought i should make an epilogue. i also changed the title to first and last bc my friend suggested it and i was like fuck that sounds better. if i had any plan at all while writing it i would've called it that to start :^  
> also i cried so many times while reading this.  
> also also i have no idea how funerals work??

when dave heard the flatline he buried his face in karkat's neck, tears staining the grey sweater. the docters and nurses were trying to pull him away, but he couldn't leave. he couldn't leave his precious karkat. so much happened in those few moments. he was pretty sure he hit a few docters, gamzee and sollux had to drag him out of the room, he was still reaching for karkat even after they exited. rose was doing all she could to calm him down, kanaya kind of a mess, terezi silently crying. gamzee's makeup was running due to the violet tears streaming down his face, sollux cursing himself silently for not being there when his best friend needed him most. when he was dying. 

dave hadn't even noticed the world was back to black and while until they were outside. even as rose was driving him and kanaya home he was sobbing. the troll sat next to him, crying as well, wishing the same thing everyone else was. they all wished they could have been there in his last few days. they wished he didn't close himself away. rose helped dave to his door, and dirk brought him inside. they sat on the couch together, dirk comforting dave best he could as he mourned his loss. 

once dave was calmed down enough to speak, dirk asked what happened. dave explained everything. he explained how he met karkat that one day, that one amazing day, how he saw colour, how he thought karkat didn't, how the first colour dave saw was the red of karkat's eyes, and the last was the red of his tears. by the time he was done explaining, he had broken down again, crying into dirk's shoulder neither caring how uncool it was. 

"i'm sorry this happened." dirk spoke after a moment, "if there's anything i can do to help, anything at all, let me know."

dave looked up, "all i want is karkat back." his voice was breaking and it felt like his throat and chest were tightening, working together so he couldn't breathe. "i want my soulmate to be here with me, i want him to be alive and well, i want him to not be dead. i just want him."

dirk nodded sadly, "i wish i could make that happen. i wish you didn't have to deal with something like this. it's unfair."

dave stood up, shaking a little. "i'm just.. gonna be in my room." as he walked upstairs dirk thought. he thought about how dave would deal with this. worst case scenario is he kills himself, which hopefully he wouldn't do.

dave sat on his bed, he was crying. something he had done so much within the month. he remembered all the memories with karkat; when he showed him the songs he wrote, when karkat said the songs were bullshit, all the insults, the jokes, the laughs they shared. if only he knew how much the troll loved him. if only the troll had told him. he hoped him and karkat would grow old together, even if it was just platonic. they knew eachother two years, but that was enough for dave to know it was too short of a time. he should've told him. he should've took rose's advice and told karkat he loved him more than anything, he still loves him more than anything. dave walked to his computer, and opened pesterchum.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] 20:06 --

[TG]: hey karkat  
[TG]: i know youre not even gonna answer this but  
[TG]: i wanted to tell you i love you  
[TG]: and that i miss you a lot  
[TG]: wish i couldve told you more than once  
[TG]: wish i couldve told you when you werent about to die  
[TG]: but theres nothing we can do to change that  
[TG]: everyone says youre in a better place but how do they even know that  
[TG]: for all we know you could be in pain right now  
[TG]: yknow  
[TG]: were all upset  
[TG]: nepeta couldnt even bring herself to go to your hospital room  
[TG]: she couldnt bring herself to watch you die  
[TG]: but i had to go  
[TG]: i had to see you one last time  
[TG]: i had to tell you  
[TG]: we were boyfriends  
[TG]: it was only for about a minute but it was the best minute of my life  
[TG]: the worst too  
[TG]: god dammit i shouldve told you how much you mean to me  
[TG]: maybe we wouldve had more time to be together if i did  
[TG]: you still wouldve died too soon  
[TG]: but we wouldve had two years to be a couple and do couple shit  
[TG]: now we never can  
[TG]: and im sorry for that  
[TG]: goodbye karkat

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 20:08 --

dave's vision was starting to blur, and his head was starting to ache he decided to just go to sleep. tomorrow he'd wake up and everything would be okay. except it won't be. it'll be hell. dave will wake up to a world without karkat. a world without his soulmate. he closed his computer and layed in his bed. 

(-(-(

"karkat?" dave had a large smile on his face when he saw his deceased boyfriend. "karkat is that really you?"

the troll was smiling and nodding, "yes dave, it's me." without hesitation dave ran to karkat, picking him up and spinning him like in the movies. he set the shorter boy back down and rested their foreheads together.

"it"s you." dave was crying again, but out of happiness this time. "you're here, you're with me."

"yeah, we can be together now." karkat was looking happily at dave, his love, his soulmate.

"i love you so much, karkat."

"i love you too."

that was what dave's dream was about that night. when he woke up he was mad at himself, so mad that he just had to be awake. why couldn't he go back to sleep? why couldn't he just see karkat again, even if it was just a dream. "go back to sleep, go back to sleep," he was whispering to himself, tears hitting the pillow.

(-(-(

 

it was finally karkat's funeral. dave dressed in a black shirt, jacket, jeans, and shoes. he wasn't ready for it. he wasn't ready to truly say goodbye. dave put on his best shades and walked outside where rose was waiting in her car with kanaya.

"you okay, dave?" she asked worriedly as he stepped inside the vehicle.

"no," he said. "but i'll manage."

rose drove them to where thr funeral was taking place. it was a silent drive, none of them really knowing what to say. when they got out, dave noticed a single flower in the grass. he plucked it from the ground and walked with rose and kanaya.

(-(-(

"would anyone like to say a few words?" 

dave stood up. "karkat was my soulmate. i assumed he didn't share the feelings since he never mentioned colours during the two years we were together. i thought i was one of those rare cases who's soulmate wasn't their own. every day we spent together i felt myself loving him even more. then i learned he was going to die. at the hospital, he confessed to me that he saw colours, that he really is my soulmate. we were boyfriends for about a minute, before he died. i miss him a lot." he sat down, crying again.

kanaya stood up. "he was my moirail. i felt as though i should protect him. he called me lusus more than once, though it was teasing it made me so happy for some reason. my ancestor helped his, they were moirails too. she felt the same sort of thing, she wanted to protect him. maybe that was because of his low blood status, whereas hers was somewhat higher up. i wish he would've told me this was happening." she sat down.

sollix stood up. "kk wath my clothe friend, clothest thing to pale without actually being pale. he wath there for me. kind of a douche at timeth but, i'm really gonna mith him." he sat down, not wanting to talk much.

terezi stood. "karkat was a good friend. he could be a little annoying at times but he was still a good friend. a good leader." she sat down.

gamzee stood. "karbro was awesome. my motherfuckin' best friend. we used to be moirails but i think he got tired of me." the clown frowned. "he was still great, couldn't've asked for a greater motherfuckin' moirail." he sat down.

(-(-(

when the funeral ended, dave stayed behind. he stood next to the coffin, and surprisingly enough, didn't cry. he was too out of tears, too tired, he lost so much sleep over this. he got so many headaches. and now he just couldn't bring himself to shed any tears. dave looked at the flower, and set it on the casket. 

"goodbye, karkat. my precious crab, wonderful karkles. i'll miss you. always and forever you'll be in my heart, i'll think of you everyday, i'll love you everyday. i don't wanna spend too much time here, but there's so much for me to say. maybe i'll just pester you. but karkat, i promise i'll visit you here. i promise i'll stay as long as i can. i promise i'll always be thinking of you. because dammit vantas i see you everywhere. i see sweaters and think of your grey one, i see crabs and think of how crabby you were, i see computers and remember how you sucked at hacking, i see hearts and remember how i loved you, and how i still do to this day." he sighed sadly. "it's so cliché, i know, but i do love you. i do miss you. i wish i could talk to you more but i have to leave, so here's one last goodbye for now." dave turned to leave, and after taking one last look at the box his soulmate lay in forever, in a sleep lasting eternity, he left.

(-(-(

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 23:50 --

[TG]: its been so long hasnt it  
[TG]: this has become sort of a habit  
[TG]: i message you everyday but you never reply  
[TG]: of course you dont  
[TG]: youre dead  
[TG]: its kinda pathetic really  
[TG]: everday for the bast three years ive been sitting down at this computer sending you messages youll never read  
[TG]: all to cope with the fact that ill never see you again  
[TG]: but hey  
[TG]: its your birthday soon  
[TG]: just a eight more minutes  
[TG]: ill go to your grave tomorrow like i do every year on your birthday  
[TG]: im sure karkat jr will be excited to see you  
[TG]: well maybe not he is just a cat  
[TG]: maybe ill get a real karkat jr  
[TG]: yknow like a kid  
[TG]: wouldnt that be nice  
[TG]: ill tell him all about how great you were  
[TG]: teach him your insults  
[TG]: make him watch romcoms  
[TG]: i hope hes just like you  
[TG]: five minutes  
[TG]: youll be twenty one like me  
[TG]: i forget how many sweeps that is  
[TG]: but whatever  
[TG]: god i cant believe its already been three years  
[TG]: three years and i still havent moved on  
[TG]: its still black and white for me  
[TG]: even if i saw colors again i wouldnt care  
[TG]: maybe i could act like you and pretend i didnt see any colours  
[TG]: itll be nice seeing red though  
[TG]: i miss that color  
[TG]: it was ours  
[TG]: i miss you karkat  
[TG]: a lot  
[TG]: one more minute  
[TG]: if you were here wed totally go to a bar  
[TG]: haha i bet youd be hilarious drunk  
[TG]: drunkat  
[TG]: hey karkat  
[TG]: happy birthday  
[TG]: ill message you again tomorrow after i get back  
[TG]: god i love you  
[TG]: i miss you  
[TG]: wish i could see you  
[TG]: bye karkat

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] 00:01 --

(-(-(

dave stood next to the gravestone of his soulmate, a young boy standing next to him. it had been six years since karkat died, eight since they met.

"this is dad?" the boy had black hair and brown eyes, a few freckles too. after the cat karkat died dave totally regretted naming the cat that, it was like karkat dying all over again.

dave nodded, "yeah. he was great." 

"do you think i'll ever meet my soulmate?" karkat looked at dave, who smiled.

"i'm sure of it." karkat smiled, and turned his attention to a young girl with short brown hair and olive green eyes, holding jade's hand. they were standing by nepeta leijon's grave. his eyes widened once the two children locked eyes. they both saw something they never had before. colour.

dave smiled at the two children, it was happening. his son found someone, at such a young age too. he definitely had more luck than his father. karkat looked at dave hopefully and he nodded, the boy ran over to nepeta jr.

"look at that, kar." he was crying. "true love."

(-(-(

it's been years, dave didn't even know how many at this point, since karkat died. karkat jr married nepeta jr, they had two kids named meulin and kankri. dave was about to die, he knew it too, but he wasn't scared. he was happy, ecstatic even. after so long he finally gets to see his soulmate again. he closed hos eyes, relaxing. this must be how karkat felt.

as he passed, he swore he heard a voice, oh so familiar and music to his ears.

"i missed you, strider."


End file.
